DEADLY DELIGHTS FROM DOWNUNDER
by AGATHA FALKNER
Gidday!
I'm writing in this week from a different Location. A nice little watering hole I stumbled into after a long day running around from meeting to review and back again. Not one of my regular haunts, but you know what they say, whether I'm at the back of bourke or hitting the big cities, you just never know what you will come across in your travels. There is a whole world out there to discover, and I have found that, it's whilst going walk-a-bout in those off the beaten track locations(so to speak), I seem to find my rarer, hidden gems, or unpolished diamonds, just waiting to be discovered by me, while I'm out here, exploring some new and exciting territory.
Let me give you an example. I was out the other evening, after running from book launch to book signing, and let me tell you, I was hanging for a bevvie or two. Been burning the Midnight oil. I found a respectable drinking establishment. It was the end of the week, and I was knackered. All I wanted to do was knock back a couple of gin and tonics, with a twist of lime of course. But you know me, 2 became 3, and next thing I'm onto the mescal straight up! After a solid hour of doing my research, I took a few moments to stretch my legs, and back, and to have a squiz around the place. From the corner of my eye, I notice a book, sitting on top of a pile of those trendy magazines entitled “You Can't Play A Player”
Well the title alone certainly aroused my curiosity. I had a quick read of the cover, and saw that it was written by some bloke called Thaddeous "Creepy" Rollins. I'd never heard of him, so I flipped through a couple of pages, and what I saw, was something quite unexpected. Matey, I'm here to tell you, there is a whole pool of talent out there, waiting to be discovered. And this book is a prime example. So much so, that even in my slightly (ok absolutely) blotto state, I know a great thing when I see it. This is one discovery that is too awesome to pass over, and I must tell my readers all about it!
From what I read in this enlightening and edgy piece of work...now mind you...it does not contain proper grammar, or a language your average reader will be familiar with, but is written in its most purest, rawest, and highly believable form. It really does have an air of authenticity to it, that most of these bullshit Bobby Dazzlers could ever come up with in a million years.
So a bit about the book This is where I got hooked right from the outset, the premise.
A one night stand leads two people into a web of lies, deceit, double cross and murder as a young woman, desperate to save her sister from a life of drug abuse and prostitution. Goes undercover and hooks up with a man she thinks can help her maneuver the streets filled with hoods and thugs and bring her close enough to the pimp that is controlling her sister. When they finally confront the pimp and buys her sisters way out of the life, the man wants to go back and rob the pimp , that he knew from before, of the other money that he knows he got.
Who writes stuff like this?! This is hot stuff! Fully Sic! This is one bonza bloke!
So...why do these up and coming authors always seem to get shoved on the overpass, when quite clearly, they are showing incredible initiative, superb imagination, and masterful talent (not by conventional standards, but by keeping it REAL standards). People will go berserk for this kind of real life depiction. It's streetwise, and highly insightful. It's a window into worlds that most of us will never get to experience or have to deal with. The daily dilemmas of living the hard life on the real streets. Here’s an excerpt I thought you might
enjoy….
…so I was sittin’ at my spot, right. Chillin, minding my own biness , you know, getting my drank on. Now understand that I wasn’t out on the creep or nothing like that. Just tryna get a grip on some thangs in my mind, you know, and needed some atmosphere. The place was hella crowded, right, music banging, motha fucka’s was in the back slinging. Can’t get mad at ‘em though. A fella gotsta get his cheese. That’s real talk. Just as long as they ain’t up in here, acking a fool to where can’t nobody else enjoy themselves. Or doing shit that gone cause the police to roll up.
I’m at the bar, right, ‘bout to order me some chicken wings when I look over to my left and notice this baby girl got her head on tilt. She scoping me right, all up and down. I knew she was liking what she was seeing. Even though I wasn’t sporting one of my vine’s or none of my ice. I smiled at her though, right. Told my boy Ant, the bartender to slide her some Hennessy. So now I’m peeping her back right, and I gotsta say, bootylicious. I mean, baby girl was bricked out. A redbone too. Make a fella wanna cuss when he see something that look that good. Which I did, I said to myself. “Motha fucka”.
Anyway, Ant serves her up, right. Now here she come, tryna contain herself, looking all serious. Gone ax me what’s up with me right. I put my best mack down on her, you know, woo, woo. Then next thing I know she talking ‘bout getting ghost wit a brother right. At first I was like, damn, I ain’t tryna get with no braud tonight, but then I told myself to just go with the flow. We skyed up and fell in over at her crib right. She showed me around her place and all. Baby girl had it all plushed out. Next thing I know, I’m all up in them boots rights. Blam! I have to admit that I beat it up for awhile, you know, like it was for the world championship.
The next morning I was finna leave but after giving a brother all the butter and sugar he could handle the night before, it was no surprise to me that when I woke up she had already fixed some grits, bacon and eggs. So I figured I would eat before I bounced. I sat down with her, you know, got my grub on. She served me some coffee too. Sitting there thinking, I figured a brother could get used to this. Yeah everything is perfect. Everything was too is perfect, but still, something ain't right…..
Here's the thing. If guys like the author of this book, Thaddeous "Creepy" Rollins were given even half a chance, with the natural born killer instincts they possess, they would run rings around these pretentious Clayton dipsticks that are hiding behind fancy titles, who crumble like a flake when the real shit hits the fan. The REAL talent is actually right under our noses, right here...they are tough, streetwise, witty, and highly skilled at their game, legit, the real deal!...oh and did I mention, a good perv. I tell you, I wouldn't mind getting tanked and having a bit of a pash with this Thaddeuos bloke, especially if he's wearing a pair of budgie smugglers. Until next time Matey's
Written by Rory and Divina
©rj2011 ©Divina
it was in the middle of having one of those days
where inside I was feeling somewhat contentious
at the time I wasn’t content with (you name it)
I began considering what (exactly) would be the benefits
…of changing my ways
found myself seeking the counsel of intoxication
not sure why
despite any self imposed ruinations
I do believe that with a new sunrise comes the of opening your eyes
shortly after hitting the block
I came across this brother
his circumstances appeared to be worse than mine
I don’t think he had a place that he called home
unkempt and jagged around the edges
one could tell it had been a while since his hair had been comb
his clothes were ripped and ready to fall off
…and he wreaked badly of alcohol
he approached and says to me, “give me penny, as raggedy as I am”
I said “brother if I had it to give I would”
“got damn”, “that’s what I’m talking about man”,
“everybody taking but ain’t nobody giving”
“I didn’t figure you for one of them”, his reproach
“give me a penny, as raggedy as I am”
He then whisks out a bottle of Thunderbird from one of his pockets. Quickly he twists off the top, takes a couple of swigs and hands the bottle over to me. I recognized the gesture. The brother had given unto me everything he had. A sort of communing.
mad and filled with strife
he needed to be heard
he spoke with some very choice words
told me about how he had tried to make a nice life
paid his taxes
wore the latest fashions
thanked God and lived it up on Friday night
then went to church every Sunday and gave God his tithe
only to come home one day to find someone ran off with his wife
making things worse
he kept getting passed over for promotions
having grown tired of his bosses inertia
he finally raised a commotion and suddenly
…found himself without a job
It was then, according to him, when he made the discovery that keeping up with the Joneses meant keeping oneself fully supplied with the vice they jones for.
After taking a couple of drinks and carefully examining my own thoughts. I returned the bottle to him and went on my way. Wondering if this (his life story, our meeting on the street) is what God wrought?
thinking
questioning
taking in consideration
jonesing for understanding
deviating from my proclivities
needing to calm my nerves
(found my own bottle)
as I began to drown my anxieties
these thoughts emerged
why it is that we continue to live
against the principles of evolution
is beyond my ability to comprehend
how can man claim dominion without having solutions
prosperity for everyone
a concept long lost to
…the profits at all cost demand
instead we are enslaved by a system disguised as democracy
why is it that our cultures still live mostly segregated
rather than fully engaging the differences
we refuse to trust each other, holding fast to trepidation
while also bringing forth carnage over which is the right religion
apparently we have been successfully propagandized
to the point of becoming collectively docile
confused, desensitized, waiting for Armageddon to crystallize
yet to have the true nature of our consciousness roused
Rory
©rj2011
much like when the sun, moon, and earth
… are in perfect alignment
as their combined forces cause the spring tides to occur
such is my attraction to her
each day I gravitate to pictures of her
reiterating to myself, how fine I think she is
at least in my eyes
wishing to have her as mine
I begin to imagine
stopping myself and... starting again
the pleasantries in my mind turn mischievous
once more here I go
caution thrown to the wind
admittedly I just can’t resist
she is, just so voluptuous
her lips
it’s like I can already feel their tenderness
a slow waltz of soft, gentle, seemingly endless kisses
placed all over each other’s physical presence
together kindred spirits laying
adoration, exploration
absorbing the delicate contrasts of our skin
breathing in one another’s essence
breathing becoming breathless
my imagination getting the better of me
I stop myself and... start all over again
evening has fallen
ambiance
lust
surrender
belief
intensity
her lavishing me
me caressing her
together our bodily responses become
heightened radiance
relishing in the idea of (the day will come)
smiling
imagining
Rory
©rj2011
