Saw My Therapist Today

(a short story)

quite a long time it has been…
…but today I went and saw my therapist
hypertension wavered between my neck and shoulders
as well, I felt a little disconnect
apprehension, disconsolation, the directive of the day it seemed
my thoughts were completely jumbled
my focus lost in obscurity
in searching my mind for a method of reprieve
it suddenly dawned upon me
as I was leaving from my last visit with her
she assured me there was no problem with spontaneous sessions
so long as she was not busy consoling another client
with her practice only a stone’s throw away from my office downtown
placing my temperament before her appeared most logical
at least in terms of obtaining more immediate relief
taking a later lunch hour to avoid the noon rush
I arrived at her suite and fortunately for me she was available
a pleasant greeting it was
surprised and most accommodating her smile
i’m there with her…
…and yet, could not express what my needs were
she recognized my troubles and took the initative
immediately she began stripping away the inhibitions residing in me
probing my mental state in a poignant yet affectionate manner
I stood there at attention
admiring her professionalism more than anything
she reminded me however, that it was ok to stroke my own egoism
it was at this point that I finally began to relax
as our communing gradually moved forward
she urged me to close my eyes
take my time and visualize
in doing so I could see Africa
the equinox
synchronicity
celestial gyrations
swiftly I reached an elevated state of awareness
in the instant that I reopened my eyes
what was once nervousness traversing through my body, flees
crystallizing into gametic diffusion
after which I feel totally disencumbered
my time was up and I thanked her for assistance
as I left her building heading towards the remainder of my day
I looked back, wondering, not certain when or if I will ever return

Rory


©rj2011

Not So Merry Go Round

knocking at my door pleading frantically
for a place to relax and a moment to heal
she asked if she could shower and have a meal
teardrops rolling down her cheeks
a cigarette lit
distress consuming her demeanor
having just sold her body for a crack hit
a full fledged moral dilemma
her consciousness tearing her apart
wanting and needing to talk things out
but not knowing how or where to start
the world is her enemy
she so angrily proclaimed
feeling unworthy of any kindness
while attempting to conceal her shame
as a friend, I could only offer encouraging words
while presently she is not at her best
still she is a divine creation
and because of this
I will always be impressed
ever so thankful
to receive these gifts from a friend
she walked back out in to the world
despite this circumstance
only to hit the block again
it is my sincere hope
she lifts herself up from being down
and cease this illusory ride she's taking
on her mental merry-go-round

Rory

©rj2008/10

*photo used under license. All rights reserved. Please do not copy.
  Merry -go-round in motion © Rudywong | Dreamstime.com
  "Keep On Moving" performed by Soul II Soul

Ear Porno

my girl was all over me
just wouldn’t leave me alone
teasing, tempting, touching
just at the edge of all my erogenous zones
she knew where they were…
..and what was to occur
if they were fully ignited

playfully with her tongue
she had began gliding up and down my neck
the sensations that she was providing my body
…were more than I expected
moistened affections titillate my erection
as my love exclamation draws nearer
whispers into my ear are so inviting

how does it feel baby?

do you feel  my love?

I am all yours

this is for you

come on baby let it go

 release yourself to me

further within me I felt her adoration as…
…deeper into my ear her kisses would explore
with selfless vigor she persisted…
…until I was no longer able to resist
we exchange words, dirty words, passion filled words
firmly I hold her as I release my exhilaration
enthralled by the sight my essence, she’s delighted


Rory


©rj2009

Imaginary Kiss

 the end of another day and
… my mind is still occupied with …
all of the moves I made
…you know how it is…
maneuvering through this life game we play
…making sure everything is in order…
I put my feet up and really  I don’t want to
….bother with those thoughts any more…
I must be tired because as I look out into the distance
…an enfilade of lights begins to blur…
and thoughts of her are seeping into my imagination
…it feels good because…
I’m having these sensations
…I can’t describe them…
and I'm fighting this transition into sleep
...but there's just something about her, you know...
…energy that agrees with me...
again I look out to the lights
… I could swear to you I see her lips…
and feel her kiss

Rory

©rj2009

Curiosity

unwinding from the days turmoil
disregarding events that made his blood boil
against his inclination
accepting the invitation
to explore
all  musing set aside
he jumped in his ride
musical ambiance helping him to relax
the streets becoming luminous
as the earth makes its rainy offering
his destination drawing nearer
he wonders
relaxation replaced by anticipation
is there a refuge that awaits
what would be this journeys fate
maybe this would be the place
he could delve into mental stimulation
honesty , laughter, communication
friends, just the love of a friend, friends becoming lovers,
 his bearings were correct
having now arrived
curiosity consumes

  Rory
©RJ2008/10

Eye Of The Beholder (Part 1)

The background noise is dismal, a poppy tune, a complaining man and lovers.  Sabrina seems to hear the bartender shining a glass more clearly than the muddled sounds of the Royal Omi Hotel Bar.  Stirs the ice in her drink slowly with her finger as she sits at the bar, intently watching the bar towel as it wipes against the glass.  She slides her feet from her high heeled shoes and massages her leg with a bare foot, leaning back to take a sip of her drink. 

Across the room, Daniel sits alone in a booth absorbing the music as he watches her graceful movement.  He sighs and slowly raises an ice cold beer to his lips, drinking slowly as he drinks in the scenery.

“Yeah, next they’re sending me to Detroit,” an older business man seated near Sabrina complains to the bartender.  “I used to enjoy the trips, but they’re not what the used to be. Hell, I even have to pay this tab.  Ha! They took away the alcohol privileges… as if we don’t deserve them.”
“Corporate bastards,” The bartender lightheartedly played along with the man.  “Who do they think they are really?”
“Right, and the work gets harder and the benefits get smaller,” the man continues to complain as he pushes his empty glass toward the bartender.

Sabrina turns away and faces the lovers for a moment.

The woman throws her head back in laughter, brushing her hair away from her face.  Her lover gently fills her glass from the bottle of wine they are sharing.  With a swift move, he eases his chair closer as he places the glass back in front of her.
“I have to tell you that was the worst presentation ever,” he chuckles.  “It was everything I could do to hold my eyes open.”
“I fell asleep just waiting for him to get the projector to work,” she continues to laugh.  “But, here’s to an all expense paid weekend getaway!” She raises her glass and he taps his to hers. 
“I guess this isn’t so bad,” his expression changes to a seductive stare.
“I certainly can’t complain,” she meets his stare.

Sabrina smiles and then turns to push her empty glass toward the bartender.
“I’ll have another,” she says softly. 
As he makes her drink, Sabrina’s eye catches Daniel’s reflection in the mirror behind the bar.   He’s pulling off his jacket and turns his neck slowly as if trying to relax.  He looks mysterious to her.  He runs his fingers through his hair before finishing his beer.  She watches him walk across the room, slowly, to the bar.  The bartender slides Sabrina’s drink in front of her.
“Thank you,” her stare is broken, but only for a moment.  Through the corner of her eye, she watches as he orders another beer. 

“Another Guiness,” he says with a bit of an accent … maybe Scottish? She wonders where he’s from and what his story is.  He glances in her direction, and she quickly looks away.  He doesn’t want her to see him stare, so he too turns away … but only for a moment, and then he can’t help but look again.

Sabrina is swirling her drink in her hand, scanning the room while carefully avoiding eye contact with Daniel.  She’s nervous, but pretending to be cool.  Daniel tips his beer a bit, feeling anxious.

“Oh my!” He gasps.  “I’m so sorry, sir.”
“Not a problem,” The bartender says.  “Bigger problem for you to lose any of that great beer.”
“You got that right,” Daniel laughs then leans against the bar as he takes his first swig, turned to face Sabrina. He watches her as she, once again rubs one bare foot against her thigh and lets out a soft sigh.
He shudders.

“Hey Buddy,” the business man calls out.  “I could use another drink down here.”
The bartender heads toward him.
“Hey lady,” he calls out again, “You want a drink too?”
Sabrina freezes for a moment.  “N…no, thank you,” she stammers and then raises her glass “I just got one, thanks.”

Daniel returns to his seat, replaying her voice in his mind.  He finds it melodious.  He smiles gently as he gazes at her.  She catches his smiling reflection in the mirror and their eyes meet.  Quickly, he looks down and begins to loosen his tie.  Sabrina slips back into her shoes and begins wriggling one shoe on her toes, not quite snugly on her foot yet. 

The couple across the room is learning they are out of wine.  He raises the empty bottle as he stands, he puts his hand out to her.  She takes his hand and rises slowly.  They approach the bar, laughing and floating as they step.
“Another bottle please,” He boasts.  “And charge it to my room.”
“Oh?” She moves closer to him and he lets go of her hand and puts his arm around her.
“Is that ok?” He asks.
“Absolutely,” She leans on him, smiling wide.

Sabrina smiles as she watches. She notices Daniel in the mirror, watching the happy couple with a smile on his face also.  This makes her smile even wider, and she turns to stand.  She walks across the room gracefully, glancing at Daniel only for a moment as they are both still smiling.  He catches her, and nods at her.  She nods back as she heads to the restroom.  He stares at the bathroom door for a moment, the shakes it off … feeling foolish.  He struggles to not think of her for a moment.  He fumbles in his pocket and pulls out his cell phone, checking it for any messages. 

Sabrina freshens up in the bathroom.  She leans in to the mirror and looks into her own eyes, takes a deep breath, and steps out.  She looks at Daniel, as he is intently listening to a message on his phone.  She rushes to her seat, unnoticed, and quickly finishes her drink.

“Last call, everyone,” The bartender says. 

Suzrocks©

Eye Of The Beholder (Part 2)

(Daniel’s Fantasy)

This  is the last thing I needed, to be out minding my own damn business and see a goddess looking like that. My goodness, look at her over there, so gorgeous. All sleek and curvaceous. I can tell she has the savvy about her I like to see in women. Confident, intelligent, self-sufficient, principled. Just waiting for the right guy to appear in her life. I’m sure a woman like her would lavish a guy given he treats her right. I can see it in her eyes.

I know I’ve told myself this before but I just can’t help myself, I really think she is meant for me. Geez, I’m such a hopeless romantic.

Our eyes have met several times now and I see how she’s looking at me, trying to hide her smile, sizing me up and liking what she see‘s. Trying to figure out what I’m all about. Should I send her drink? What I really ought to do is just go sit by her and find out what’s really going on with her.

Alright Daniel, keep the grip on yourself.  Remember, people don’t think like you do. Ready to act on impulse after recognizing in their minds the Love they want to have. You’ve been through this before. Play it off a little bit more.

If she only knew how she’s moving me right now.  I can already visualize having her for myself. Merging our lives together and creating our own little paradise. Having and doing any and everything our heart’s desire. Living in a peaceful luxurious ambiance. Maybe a cozy house by the lake. No stress, just the perfection.

Sometimes we could make dinner together and feed loving adulation to each other. I can see us going for long walks beneath the moonbeams, daydreaming while window shopping, living it up while out on the town at night, spending our last dime and just having a great time, rolling in the grass like kids and sharing lush kisses, daring to cherish each moment we share together.  Those lips. I can feel them right now, they look so moist, so tender, so Mmmmmmm……

See there she is looking me again. Let me show her my good side…..

Beautiful shapely body she has. Yeah,  I want her.

I can see being with her right now. Having her in my arms, gently kissing her all over. Slowly massaging away any concerns she may have on mind. Absorbing her sensuality as her body responds to my caress. Sharing the essence our bodies and making the Earth move.  Moans and whispers of adoration, taking each other beyond any known quantity that humans might  consider what reaching nirvana would be. Yeah, making pure…….. delicious.

I really should go sit next to her. Explore her mind and see where she stands on some things

Why is she alone anyway? With the way she looks, what man would not be with her at all times.


I mean, I can see all this in my mind but I’m really not wanting to endure any more let downs. Thinking I found someone that I can finally settle down and create a life with. Having a solid communication and understanding with. Only to find myself involved with Ms. Drama Queen again.

Listen to myself, now I have to ask, why am I hesitating. Maybe I’ll just wait. Let her make a move on me.

Think fast Daniel. What’s it gonna be? Obviously she’s interested in you and you know you want to find out about her. Perhaps this time you can really make all of these things happen out of this but…..

Hmmm, the bartender did say last call

Ok, let me at least send her that drink, see how she responds……


Rory

©rj2010

Eye Of Beholder (Part 3)

I lick my lips and take a deep breath, contemplating that final drink.  I look in the mirror, past myself, tilting my head slightly to the left to get a final pause at the handsome stranger.  An insurance salesman far from home? An independent film maker traveling the US? A psychic on tour? I laugh at my thoughts.  What does it matter? I’m only here for one night and God only knows if I’ll ever be here again.  Besides, he’s clearly not from here either.  Should I have another drink? Should I buy him a beer? Deliver it myself? Slither up beside him and whisper slowly.
“Would you like another?”
“But of course,” he would reply and take the frosted glass from my fingers, caressing my hand subtly.  I nod to say I received his message and like it. 
“Here on business?” I would ask, maybe flip my hair dramatically and find the courage to look deep into his eyes. 
“Yes, in a way,” he would leave it open ended.
A mystery. 
Hell, if I’m dreaming … I may as well dream big.  I motion to the bartender for that last drink.

“Are you here with anyone?” I imagine myself a courageous seductress.
“No, I’m traveling light,” his charming accent would be music to my hungry ears.  “Are you here with anyone?” His tone would be deeper and serious.
“Absolutely not,” I reply and seductively sip from my drink.
“What are you drinking there, beautiful?” He would ask. 
“Disarrono,” I would smile, savoring the taste for a moment. 
“Well, being as it’s last call and I didn’t have the honor of buying you a drink…” He looks across his beer deep into my eyes, “I can only offer to buy you the bottle if you’d care to share it with me.”
“How could I refuse?” I stroke my hair again and smile seductively.

He would hand me the bottle and walk me out of the bar, holding the door for me.  We would stride through the hotel lobby as if we long time lovers vacationing together.  The bellman tips his hat to us as we enter the elevator.

I am gazing at the bottle as if it were a rare gem.

“The lady is pleased?” He asks with a tease in his tone.
I would nod.
“Does the lady wish to please the man?” He asks.
I nod again.
He grabs me the waist and pulls me close to him, then he leans in and dips me as he reaches out to press the stop button on the elevator.  I’m limp in his touch as he smoothes his lips gently from my chest, up my throat and to my lips.  His breath is warm, his lips are wet.  His kiss is divine.  He pulls me back up to a stance and slides me against the wall, pinning my arms up and kissing my neck passionately.  My heart is throbbing against my chest.

“Last call,” The bartender repeats. 

Suzrocks©

Eye Of The Beholder (Part 4)

(The Conclusion)

With last call having been announced, the lights in the Royal Omi Hotel Bar have dimmed. Many of the patrons have left and gone on their way leaving the room only sparsely filled with those who remain.  Streaming light jazz accentuating in the background has quieted the once jovial tone of the crowd noise to a continuous  soft murmur. The setting has now become more conducive to romantic enticements rather than general socializing.

A bright smile graces Sabrina’s face as slowly she transitions back to reality from her dreamy preoccupation with a potential exploration of the senses with Daniel. Looking down at the counter she notices a fresh drink has been placed before her. She looks up towards the bartender.

“Courtesy of the gentleman sitting across the room” , he says. His eyes shifting back and forth between the two of them.

She thanks the bartender with a modest smile, picks up her drink and shifts her body in Daniel’s direction.  Salutations are exchange as Sabrina raises her drink, then takes a sip. Daniel does likewise. As they sit starring at each other, her eyes start blinking invitation, her body sways with yearning. Daniel’s smile gestures his admiration.

The Bartender can only stand back and smile as he watches it all unfold. He’s observed them the entire evening, noticing the eye contact between them and now anxiously awaits the outcome of their flirtation.

Several minutes pass and a few more customers rise to leave the bar. It appears the interest in exploring potentialities further has arrived at a stalemate as nothing further has transpired between Daniel and Sabrina.

Daniel finishes his beer then looks straight ahead. Going back into deep thought. Feeling a bit let down and somewhat disappointed Sabrina shifts her body back towards the bar and continues to slowly sip on her drink

In extreme disbelief that neither has acted upon the vibrations that have bounced between them. Feeling as if they should be together or at minimum get together and engage in conversation. The Bartender decides to take measures into his own hands and assist. He has seen something like this happen from behind his bar all too often and feels he can recognize a match when he see’s it.

“Alright everyone! Technically we are closed but how about one more round on the house”, he yells aloud.


The customers that remain cheer their approval. Those willing to take him up on his offer are served while some others choose to leave, thinning out the room even more.

The Bartender pours a beer but this one he will deliver personally.  He arrives at Daniel table.

“Another Guinness for you my friend, on the house”, he says cordially while serving it.

“Thank You”, Daniel replies

“Can I ask you something”, the Bartender asks.

“By all means”, Daniel replies.

With discontent in his voice he says, “I’ve been noticing you and the lady all evening. Having the hots’ for each other and all that. Why are ya sitting by yourself over here instead of sitting with her for chrice sakes”.

“That’s a fair question”, Daniel responds. “You know, over the years I’ve learned not to settle for the obvious that just jumps right out at you. So often it can be deceiving”.

“Well I’m not some educated expert”, the bartender says, “but if you can’t tell that Lady over there is a class act, then you’ve been bitten on your ass once to many times and there’s probably no help for you”, he says with a seeming developing attitude.

“Besides, whatever happened to trusting your intuition?”, he asks. Leaving that question in Daniel’s mind to ponder, the bartender returns to his workplace behind the bar.

Daniel continues drinking his beer until it is finished. He then rises and walks to the bar to pay his tab. While standing there completing the transaction, he greets Sabrina

Reaching to shake her hand, “Hello I’m Daniel”

“I’m Sabrina, nice to meet you”

Their eyes dilate as they are both smitten, looking closer into each other

“You're really very pretty”, Daniel offers

“You're not so bad yourself”, Sabrina responds.

With that, Daniel releases Sabrina hand and leaves the bar. Sabrina can only sit and wonder what could have been as she watches him leave. She looks at the bartender confused. The bartender can only shrug his shoulders as he has no understanding of Daniel’s (non)action either.

The bar was officially closed. All whom were still there began to leave and Sabrina herself got up to return to her room. As she stands waiting for the elevator to take her to her room. Still she can't help but think how nice it may have been to spend a night with Daniel. Imagining what it would have been like.  No big deal, his loss she concedes and justifies to herself. The elevator doors open upon arrival.  She steps in, presses the button to her floor and as the doors close, so too are her thoughts of romantic bliss closed off.

Daniel was staying in another hotel about 15 minutes across town. He wound up at the bar that night upon recommendation. Driving through the downtown area in the car he rented, he was only 5 minutes away from his hotel when visions of Sabrina seeped back into his mind. The bartender words of trusting his intuition were also echoing deep within his thoughts.

He didn’t want a one night stand and by all means he didn’t not want to partake in what would eventually become another failed relationship

A collage of visions begin to saturate his mind. Her eyes, her lips, her smile,  kissing her. More echoes, “class act”, “bitten on your ass”, “trusting your intuition”.

Suddenly Daniel slams on the brakes. The cars behind him swerve to miss him avoiding an accident while also wailing their anger with their car horn as they pass by.

Daniel sits in the middle of the street, thinking, thinking……

He then makes a hard U-turn heading back to the Royal Omi Hotel.

Rory

©rj2010
*Eye Of The Beholder was written in collaboration with Suz aka Suzrocks©

Tampering

who would turn away..
the person who freely gives away
..their very breath..
what would you hear?
if but to listen
you’ve heard it all before
so now you hear nothing
crying without tears
the ash tray is full
with tension filled narcissism
emptiness _
         dis-ease!
lungs pickled in poison
..breathe again..
shouldn’t faith be blind?
maybe if we didn’t have eyes
then we would truly see
are we walking in our sleep?
      feel!
..we are so comfortable with..
pain not being painful
what words are the truth you would believe?
is there room for the love..
..you had always conceived?
or is that now lost luggage on..
another plane of existence
now rendered as illusion
you tamper with my love
with your doubt, your suspicions, your backsliding
yet still, you are my every breath

no, not again!
don’t turn away from me

Rory

©RJ2008/10

Next Think I Knew

classy
sassy
she seemed happy
devious
winking
and...trying to get at me
I already knew what she was thinking
we were both out...being a little mischievious
then she asked me
to describe myself using only two words
of course I answered, "smoothandjazzy"
oh shoot! that was three
but still that's me
a nice conversation we were having
telling me how crappy
other men in her life had been
she started texting pictures of me..
..to her friends
elegance
benevolence
digging on my cologne
I could tell it was hitting on one of her..
..erogenous zones
living the moment, sharing, laughing
not getting with her..
..would be like blasphemy
moving past discussing each others..
..past history
we decided it would be nice to discover..
each others mysteries...that lay deep within
I told her I wanted someone sincere
she mentioned she didn't mind a little domineer
with a chesire cat like grin on her face
she says to me "we can go to my place"
we arrived, sipped some wine while her eyes did all the talking
next thing I knew, her panties were coming off

Rory

©rj2009/10

Street Seen

(a street sonnet)



back in the day, I must have been about sixteen
the days of platform shoes and afro sheen
thought I had all the answers, about this cruel world
my own car, money in my pocket, plenty of girls
stepped to a party in the projects one night
I can vividly remember seeing a light
cats rolling a dice game, lost souls snorting cocaine,
pimps counting cash, wino’s on the corner ignoring their pain
a prostitute offers me her body just because
hoping that maybe she could discover the definition of love
doubt, envy, wretchedness, suicidal tendencies
this was what that light was showing me
looking to the stars I asked, “is this world of ours, just a sham?”
to be alive and yet be deprived, guess I will never understand

Rory



©rj2009

Operation Suicide

I guess I have reached the point to where persevering, trying to stand fast in this world where turmoil is the norm has forced my retreat. Tired of turning a blind eye to the double-dealing shams the ego illuminates to us as salvation. Instead my mind is filled with malice which, as a result, toxins have been circulating through and decimating my body. Better to hasten my death as I am anxious to discover what lies ahead in the next dimension of my karma. I shall. But what about this woman, who speaks words  filled with venom. Whose body is polluted with foul bacterium and whose spirit is vain and defiled. I detest her because she has been the only one that has ever understood me. Shall I take her with me?

I have known for long time that this world was never a friendly place for me. Where everyone has the same right to pursue their ‘materialistic dreams’.  So disgusted with this superficial society, where hypocrites win the major votes while the homeless starve to death.  My nerve systems are numb with much more evil sustenance than cocaine and my organs have become lifeless cells.  I am ready to go to a better place.  This man is the curse in my life and his manipulation on me is far worse than infectious tattoos.  He rapes my body and dominates my mind until I cannot think of any other perfect places, but his, to be able to call as my cradle and my morgue. 

No longer will I sit here stagnant, time to leave this repulsion

Raised to be indignant, I have no fear against compulsion

Down the steps I walk to find her, with pills in hand that will transport us to our sanctuary. We must depart

I hear him come for me.  Soon to be heard our ultimate vows at the altar to our obituary.  Seize my heart

Her pupils are dilated, she thirsts for my wickedness

His serene gaze upon me, honors my torment

Her kisses, so ferocious, I love the taste of her animosity, I pull her hair to assert one last time, my dominance

His forced salutations, have me savoring his blood with my tongue, our living testament soon to be an absence

I feed her our escape

I swallow our freed cascade

Joy, laughter, as we welcome delirium

Release, exhalation, within our dark equilibrium

Glow, Distortion

Tempest, Impairment

Exodus

Nirvana

 

written by Rory & Izumi K



©rj2009©izumik2009

Pin Up Girl

lost in thought, things on his mind
a few little something’s he’s having trouble facing
passing time, just him and some wine
engaged in his imagination
he takes a seat and picks up a magazine
it falls open to a random page
checking out the tigress with the golden sheen
admiring her sex appeal, her style, her grace
the pin up girl is rocking his world
has him stuck in a trance
oooh’s and ahhh’s as the fantasies swirl
wishing she knew, what he would do, if given the chance
smiling again, not a bad way to spend some time
the concerns before, begin to fall off
while the visions of her are sinfully divine
he rips the picture out and places it on the wall



Rory


©rj2009



 

*image of Lisa Ramirez used by permission

(all rights reserved)