Hate Evaporates

It was somewhere in the middle of the night and he found himself quite restless. Tossing and turning, remnants from a day filled with thoughts that could best be described as both chaotic and anarchic. Tough being a single father and raising a little girl. The light speed at which society moves does not make for sympathetic hearts. He has to be both the father and mother, and try his best to instill the nurturing qualities of both parents. Up early, breakfast, shower, dropping off at school, staff meetings, lunch with clients, pick up from school, dance lessons, cook dinner, homework, laundry and on and on. She is his pride and joy and he wouldn’t have it any other way but there are times when admittedly, it taxes his resolve. Just would like a little help every now and then, that would be nice. Needless to say he inconspicuously carries a certain disdain towards society in general.


So here it is approaching first light and he hasn’t slept yet. In fact, although in bed, he has yet to feel even a hint of relaxation. Good thing is, he peeked into his daughters room about an hour ago and saw that she was comfortable and in peaceful slumber.  Finally he begins to let go, the chirping of the early birds outside of his window easing his tensions. He’s ready to fully lapse into sleep when the blare of his ringtone interrupts. “Who can this be at this hour?”, he says to himself grumpily.  An unfamiliar phone number appears on the caller ID and he continues to search his mind as to who is phoning him so early. Certainly it couldn’t be anyone from work. Besides all of his colleague’s from work, have recognizable numbers stored in his phone. Still something told him to answer the call rather than allow it to go to voice mail, figuring it must be important.


He answers the phone and hears the frantic voice of his ex-wife on the other end, pleading for his help. “Where are you?” he asks quite worried. Struggling with her speech and obviously disoriented she was able to calm down just enough to give her exact whereabouts. “Stay there, I’ll be right there to get you”, he readily assures her. Having hung up the phone and with no time to waste he hurriedly put on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and the first pair of shoes he can find. He rushes to his daughter’s bedroom to take her along. “Wake up honey”,  he says while gently shaking her. “We have to go get your Mommy”.  His daughter wakes up, and he puts her coat on and a blanket around her to keep her warm in the cool morning air. “What’s wrong Daddy?” “Where’s Mommy?” “What’s wrong with her?”, all questions from a young heart trying to make sense of all the urgency transpiring before her as they walk to the car and get in. The car is started and off they go.


If ever there was a clear definition of hate to be seen in waking life, this relationship was it. What once was a whirlwind romance, quickly became wedding vows. Even more quickly produced from this union was the birth of a beautiful little girl. Shortly after her birth, everything went south so to speak. Lack of communication, lack of trust, lack of a shared vision evolved into angry and bitter feelings and irreconcilable differences. One day he came home to find his lovely wife had just up and left. No warnings, just an empty home and a note with instructions to where to pick the child up from her day care. A bitter divorce ensued and he was granted custody of the child. They have only seen her on a handful of occasions since as 3 years have now past. He has always hated her for this and has never fully forgiven her.


Now he finds himself driving to her rescue, comforting his daughter by telling her all will be well as they try to find her Mommy. All the while, the  anger and bitterness within him is rapidly rising to the surface. Now here he is, driving through the “Guts”, a neighborhood known for dicey characters, prostitution, rampant drug activity and they are approaching the area where she told him she would be.  He just assume leave her out here in the gutter but his better judgment  insists that he do the right thing. Turning corner after corner, ignoring the overtures of both dealers and hookers alike, and hoping that the police won’t mistake him for a lost soul out on a vice binge.  He and his daughter’s anxiety reaches it’s peak until finally they spot her and pull up in front of her.


Quickly she gets in, looking worn out and sleep deprived from what has obviously been several days of self neglect. She looks to her daughter and they exchange warm, uncomfortable greetings of re-familiarization. Then, just moments of silence as they drive off to get out of the area. She looks to him finally and says, “Thank you for coming to get me, I had no one else I could call”.  It was at this very moment that the hate he felt for her for such a long time began evaporating.


Rory


©rj2010